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Intimacy Problems
Romance is not only a physical attachment but also a mental acceptance of each other for each other's well being and needs, be it physical or mental. If the mind is not prepared the body refuses to accept any sort of physical intimacy.
The main reason for couples facing intimacy problems is a lack of awareness of the various aspects of marital intimacy and undue anxiety regarding the performance level. The anxiety can be whether one satisfies the expectations of the other with regard to physical intimacy.
Intimacy problems can also arise out of certain phobias and fears, developed right from childhood. A fear on the part of the woman that she is losing her purity and virginity and on the part of the man that he is losing his celibacy or that he is surrendering to a woman. This gives rise to a clash of the male ego.
Childhood fears develop into adult phobias. A person who is haunted by a small mistake committed in the childhood keeps washing his hands again an again as if to wash away the sin. Stories spread during childhood regarding the sin called physical intimacy and sex continue to haunt the person through his/her growing years and make him anxious about the intimacy that he or she will be sharing with his or her partner.
A relationship based on mental compatibility and mutual understanding will survive the problems created due to such anxieties and fears.
Patient understanding, nurtured with care and mutual adjustment will help one to out grow such anxieties and lead a normal and healthy relationship with the necessary intimacy.
Before the mating of the bodies, meeting of the minds is necessary. Where at least one partner tries to understand and accepts the needs and anxieties of the other partner, then that person can give a patient time and space for the other person to open up voluntarily and with total acceptance. In this period of waiting for the other person to willingly accept the relationship and open up for the intimacy, one can try to instill a sense of security and confidence into the person feeling anxious about the relationship.
Childhood abuses, ill treatment at the hands of siblings, parents and other close relatives, abandonment by the parents; a broken family can all be sited as causes for intimacy problems.
There are no problems which cannot be solved by suggestion and a bit of counseling, unless there are major or other health related problems which naturally call in for the advice of a medical practitioner.
Movies or real life incidents of childhood or that happened during the growing years have a direct impact on the later adulthood and all the relationships connected with it. A human mind has the capacity to relate such incidents to real life happenings.
Intimacy between partners or spouses should be as soft as a petal which does not ask for much space between the partners and as strong as granite which cannot be broken by any flimsy fears and anxieties.